


Is it really mine if I hate it so much?

by Cheshire_Smiles



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Dysphoria, Hajime Hinata needs a hug, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Are Siblings, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Tired Hinata Hajime, Trans Hinata Hajime, Trans Male Character, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshire_Smiles/pseuds/Cheshire_Smiles
Summary: Sometimes when Hajime stares into the mirror he can't help but feel like there’s something wrong.Like the one staring back at him isn’t quite him.Like he was occupying a body that wasn’t his.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Kamukura Izuru, Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime & Nanami Chiaki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80





	Is it really mine if I hate it so much?

HIs hair was getting long again

It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, after all the longer it was the more it could hide. It also gave the girls something to do during their biweekly movie nights!

But then again, the last time it got this long Izuru found him furiously chopping his hair off with the sewing scissors.

Izuru really didn’t like that one.

Something about evening hair being boring and how he should have at least let him do the whole thing.

He had a point, of course he did, but something about cutting his own hair without worrying about explaining everything to a hairdresser was somewhat freeing...

He could probably ask Izuru to do it for him, but Izuru already expressed how boring he found it and using his brother like that just felt selfish and wrong.

Hajime shook his head, mentally making a note to get an appointment at the hairdressers, finally bringing his hands up to pull the hair away from his face and tying it in a messy bun.

He tried to get back to work, but he caught his reflection in the mirror and found himself incapable of moving.

He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but there was something wrong with the figure that was staring back at him.

Maybe it was the hair he'd been contemplating about for the past half an hour, maybe it was the way his jawline was always _off_ , no matter what he did, maybe it was those tired eyes that reflected the same numbness he's been feeling for the past few weeks or maybe it was his shoulders that were way _softer_ than he'd ever like.

He didn’t even want to think about everything beyond his shoulders. The heaviness on his chest was enough, he didn’t have to also see them. Especially considering how his binder was currently drying on the bathroom radiator and he couldn’t just put it on if everything got too much.

Then again, he might have gotten way past that point a long time ago.

Reaching up, Hajime could feel a wetness on his cheek. He must have started crying.

He tried to get up, to get a tissue or something, but he found that once again he couldn’t move. Forced to stare at his shaking hands as tears soundlessly streamed down his face. Feeling so detached, yet so present at the same time.

He hated when this happened. It was so humiliating. He knew he could still move, it was clear by how his fingers twitched ever so slightly every time he tried to force them to do something. But he still couldn’t actually move like he wanted to. He still was stuck staring at his hands as tears blurred his vision more and more until the whole world was unrecognizable.

He took a shaky breath, trying to ground himself as much as he could. Desperately hoping that he could just move at least long enough to call someone and get some help, so he doesn’t just pass out standing awkwardly in the middle of his room staring at his fucking hand.

But it all just seemed to do the opposite as now he was collapsed on the ground choking on his own sobs. Unable to do anything but curl into himself in some sad attempt to get some comfort .

The phone was right next to him and yet here he was shaking and crying about something he couldn’t even remember anymore.

He hated when this happened.

After what seemed like forever, Hajime's teardrops finally dried and the tiredness hit him full force. He slowly reached out with his shaking arm, pulling the phone close to him and unlocked his phone.

Operating fully on muscle memory, he made his way to the phone app and pressed his brothers contact. Too tired to even worry about the time or anything.

After only two rings Izuru's monotonous voice filled the way too quiet room.

"Hajime? What is it? You never call"

Hajime opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a broken whine. Apparently that was enough to tell Izuru that his suspicions were correct as there was shuffling coming from the other side as the other sat up.

"Hajime? What happened?" He asked, more forcefully this time.

The brunette stayed mute, whimpering slightly when the words wouldn’t come out. Izuru just sighed accompanied by the sound of a closing door and footsteps on a wooden floor.

"I'm coming over, should I bring Chiaki or Komaeda?"

Hajime considered it for a while, but his half asleep body just wanted comfort, so he whimpered in affirmation.

Content with all that, he finally let his eyes flutter closed, the repetitive footsteps and the occasional monotonous word from Izuru rocking him to a peaceful sleep.

He couldn’t tell when the others arrived. All he could remember was the strong arms pulling him up from the ground and the warmth that joined him in the bed, three different sources of heat holding him protectively. Someone must have also opened the window as the air no longer felt heavy and stale and there even was soft Minecraft music coming from a speaker somewhere in the room.

It was the best he's felt in quite a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I know this isn’t the best, but I felt like I needed to vent a bit.  
> I hope it wasn’t too bad!


End file.
